


Practice Makes Pebble

by kristin



Category: Psych
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-10
Updated: 2011-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-16 20:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristin/pseuds/kristin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An average day at the Santa Barbara PD, including epic battles, serenades and pineapple cupcakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practice Makes Pebble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mjules](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjules/gifts).



“Jules, stop ignoring me. Jules. Juliet. Julester. Julicious. Julebug, Julesiguous. Wait, that sound like some sort of fungus. Gus, is it actually in the fungal family or can we just use it to describe that thing in my shower?” Shawn’s mouth was running faster than Lassiter at the sight of lawbreaking.

Jules sighed and rested her head on her desk, but he didn’t seem to get the hint.

“You haven’t cleaned that yet, Shawn? That was there when you moved in, and it was hardly sanitary then,” said Gus. He and Shawn were wandering around her desk and showing no interest in leaving. This did not bode well for her chances at finishing the paperwork that had been piling up.

Jules took a deep breath, counting in and out like her yoga instructor had told her to. She was a pebble. Or maybe Shawn was the pebble, and there was something about running and right! She was calm and letting Shawn’s words (and actions, as he was now jumping up and down in front of her desk) run around her, not affecting her in the least bit.

“I can’t clean him! He had a name! Boris. Boris the Julesiguous,” said Shawn, nodding definitely. “Do you want to deprive his spores of a father? Jules agrees with me, right?”

Though, if she were actually a pebble, wouldn’t the water wear her down into nothing anyway? Come to think of it, she had had to leave the session pretty quickly. Shawn had called to say a kangaroo had killed someone and needed her to check it out. “ _Pebble,_ ” she repeated to herself when her teeth started grinding of their own volition.

Okay, new plan. She reached into her drawer and pulled out her gun, automatically checking that the safety was on before whipping it around to point it at both Shawn and Gus in turn.

“Is someone dying? Or dead?” she asked. Jules kept her voice calm and level, as befitted her pebble-like state. When it looked like Shawn was going to talk back she held up a finger from where it had been curled around the gun. She lowered the gun after they both nodded in tandem.

“Okay then. I am going to leave for two hours. In that time you are not going to call me, text me, speak to me, leave me notes, serenade me, email me, reenact famous sci fi battles using the contents of my desk, or steal my pineapple cupcakes. In fact, you will do nothing related to me for two hours. Can you handle that?”

“You don’t like it when we serenade you?” “We really aren’t that bad, are we?” Shawn and Gus’ voices overlapped in a jumble, like kids roughhousing on a playground.

“Considering you did every item on that list _just this morning_ I feel comfortable in saying, yes, Gus, you are that bad, and no, Shawn, I did not appreciate being serenaded when I was trying to apprehend a suspect,” said Jules.

“But-” said Shawn.

Jules cut him off. Otherwise she would have to listen to a monologue about circus clowns or the best way to eat an ice cream cone. “No. I am leaving now.”

And so she did. She nodded to Buzz on her way. He was looking at her like her homecoming date did after she whipped out her dance moves. Oh, right. She had pulled a gun out in the middle of the precinct. Jules made her smile even wider in response to the stares as she strolled out.

Three hours later, her smile was not forced in the least. Her shoulders ached a bit, but it was worth it for way every other muscle in her body was perfectly relaxed. Getting to spend some time firing big guns could do that to a girl. Not even the sight of Shawn and Gus still in the office could tense her back up.

“Okay, so, before you see your desk, I thought I should explain,” said Gus, his words rushing out in a burst.

Jules felt a burst of happiness. It was so nice when people respected her (and her gun). She was about to ask ‘Explain what?’ when she managed around the moving human wall of Shawn and Gus. So she said, “I’ll take that explanation, now, please,” instead.

“It is _not_ a sci fi battle. You were very clear on no recreated sci fi battles,” said Shawn, gesturing at the various office supplies strewn around Jules’ desk. At one end sat her rubberband ball. It was being menaced by what appeared to be pencils and pens linked together into x-shapes. Her file folder was covered in so many crumpled up white papers it looked like a snow ball.

Jules raised her eyebrow as she replied because those definitely seemed like battle lines of paperclips across her keyboard. “Then that would be?”

There was a pause she could only describe as telling.

“A graphic rendition of our love for you?” Shawn’s voice was more sugary sweet than the cereals she had loved as a kid.

“Well, in that case-” Jules reached into her bag as she paused for effect. Psychics weren’t the only ones who could bring the drama. “Here is a symbol of my love for you.”

Shawn and Gus leaned down over the paper she held out before backing away slowly after reading it.

“So. Your love for us is best represented by the perfect results from your firearms exam,” said Gus, cautiously.

Jules walked around them and sat down at her desk, whisking a file folder off her seat. “Pick this mess up,” she said as she stashed her service weapon in the desk drawer. By the time she was upright they had already started cleaning, chattering away as they did so. She ignored it.

She was a pebble. A pebble with a gun.

  



End file.
